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Animal lover, numbers nerd, CPA. Writing on various topics including animals, personal finance, soul searching, and hopefully some comedic relief.

Anecdote | Humor

The cat’s out of the bag

Photo by Amir Ghoorchiani from Pexels

Harley’s pupils darted back and forth. It was almost like her brain was vibrating. She stared out the window, but I could tell she wasn’t really looking at anything. It was like when someone stares off into space, lost in a daydream.

I tried to snap her out of it, but she was completely oblivious to me. I called her name and waved my hand in front of her face, trying to elicit some sort of response.

Nothing.

My attempts at snapping her back into reality went unnoticed by her. She continued to drift away to some other galaxy.

It…


The clock is ticking louder every day.

Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels

A few years ago, I asked my parents if they thought I would make a good mother. My mom said, “Sometimes.”

My dad was a little more forgiving and casually said, “yeah,” in a less than convincing way.

Not exactly raving recommendations.

I can’t decide if I want kids.

You may be thinking that Mother Nature has already made that decision for me. They don’t call it a “geriatric pregnancy” for nothing. Yes, that is what they call it when you are 35 or older and pregnant— geriatric! When I hear this term, I think of drinking Ensure and playing Bingo at the senior home, not being…


Animal Advocacy | Perspective

They’re family too

Gray and white cat looking laying down looking at the camera
Gray and white cat looking laying down looking at the camera
Photo by Author (Hog aka “Hogman”)

When my cat died a month ago, I was totally devastated — and still am.

He was essentially my child.

When I would pick him up, he would literally grab on to me just like a toddler would, sucking on my shoulder and leaving a huge drool mark. I could walk miles with him just clinging on to me like that.

After his passing, to say I was heart-broken doesn’t even begin to explain it. I didn’t leave my bed or couch for a week. I cried until I ran out of tears and my heart ached.

I still feel…


Anecdote | Pet ownership

The cutest physical anomaly there ever was

Photo by Author

Polydactylism is the genetic mutation that results in having more than the normal number of toes or fingers. This overload of cuteness is much more common in cats than humans.

Thank goodness because it wouldn’t be nearly as adorable if my husband started pawing me with his extra thumb.

But on a cat, it’s hard to think of the resulting adorable mitten-like paws as a “mutation.” These extra little piggies are pretty much the cutest things I have ever seen.

I just want to bite them.

Even President Theodore Roosevelt would agree with me (well, I am not sure about…


Take control of your finances to avoid stress and surprises.

Photo from Moviestillsdb.com

Unlike Ben Affleck, I am an actual Certified Public Accountant. Numbers, budgets, and spreadsheets are my jam!

Hopefully, you will walk away from this looking slightly less confused than Anna Kendrick does because budgets shouldn’t be complicated or confusing. I will give her the benefit of the doubt though and assume she is just having trouble focusing with Ben as her teacher.

These easy budgeting strategies can help ease some of the stress and unwanted surprises you might experience with your personal finances.

Three Simple Budgeting Tips

1. Make it realistic.

If you consistently spend $900 a month on groceries, don’t budget $800. Be realistic. Going over budget…


And the occupation I should have chosen instead.

Womans hands holding a stack of $20 bills. A pen rests on top of a notebook on the desk in front of here.
Womans hands holding a stack of $20 bills. A pen rests on top of a notebook on the desk in front of here.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

I assumed that accounting would be the perfect fit for my number-obsessed, introverted personality.

I was wrong.

When you get a degree in accounting, at least in the United States, it most likely means you will get a job at an accounting firm right out of college. Here, you will start as an auditor. In fact, unless you shift over to a more specified field like tax, you will most likely start and die as an auditor.

This isn’t the kind of auditor you might be thinking either — where a terrifying agent from the Internal Revenue Service scours your…


Your picture of your home grown salad looks delicious! It always so satisfying when you can make a meal out of food you have grown. Those darn weeds though!!


Staggering statistics that prove we need to change the system.

girl with her head tipped back and a book covering her face
girl with her head tipped back and a book covering her face
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

My brother used to say that I was book smart, but “common sense stupid.”

Nice, huh?

Now that I think about it, my husband has asked me on more than one occasion, “How can someone so smart be so dumb sometimes?”

I can’t get mad because there is a lot of truth to both of their statements.

Well, maybe I can get a little mad at these backhanded…compliments?

Did the Education System Fail To Prepare Me for Life?

I am uselessly smart.

By common education standards, I am smart. I was a straight A student, graduated Magna Cum Laude, and am a Certified Public Accountant. When I was younger, my face was always buried…


Come on, that shit was funny!

Young woman with curly red hair sitting on a brown leather couch. She is leaning forward with her mouth open, laughing.
Young woman with curly red hair sitting on a brown leather couch. She is leaning forward with her mouth open, laughing.
Image by Christopher Ross from Pixabay

I don’t even know what we were talking about, but it caused us to explode into a fit of laughter.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only thing it caused. Whatever we had been laughing at had been funny enough to push sounds out of both ends of my body.

That’s right — I farted.

I am not going to pretend that I wasn’t humiliated, because I was, but at the same time, it was hilarious. Rich and I were dying.

Our other two female co-workers, however, were either deaf, humorless, or just straight-up psychopaths. I mean, who doesn’t laugh at that…


Advice for the authority-resistant

From Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Albert Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I must be insane.

I used to start everyday by creating my to-do list. As the catalog of chores got longer and longer, I found myself irritated before I even got started. The feeling of “I have to do this,” made me resentful.

These lists never made me more productive, yet I would still do it again the next day, and the day after that. …

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